Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody

When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody’s help in any way……But now those days are gone (Sorry Sir Paul)…..

The sun is shining, the barbeque is in full swing, the grass needs cutting, the wine tastes even better than normal when quaffed in the sunshine and the annual summer-long pageant of unavailability has commenced.

Starting around June the decision makers in all sectors absent themselves to spend “quality time” with family - and sometimes with loved ones. During this annual slothfest,  the mantra coming back at you when you contact your clients seems to be “ Oh, Mr Magoo is away until…., oh didn’t he mention that when you were here last week? Sorry but I really don’t know how we can deal with this until he returns”

I cannot imagine that the UK’s industry is the only one afflicted by this paralysis, but maybe we should look at its roots and suggest a few strategies for its cure. Who knows we could lead Europe back to a more efficient and purposeful way of doing business?

Brief moment of self-delusion over. Did you feel the shudder of realisation as even the most fleeting possibility of an answer evaporated? Maybe I should wear a hat in the sun.

I would seriously like to know what effect this very familiar pattern has on the bottom line as I know it has a crippling effect on my business cash-flow.  My experience cannot be unique.

However maybe some of my fevered solutions are.

• Reduced holiday entitlements say ten days annually – plus Bank Holidays – after all, this is not the Victorian era!
• No more than seven days consecutive leave – can you stomach the brats for more than a few days without considering leaving them buried in the sand? “Where’s Peregrine? The last I saw of him was his head sticking out of the hole we had dug. The tide coming in? Oh Dear”.
• Contractual obligation to call the office at least once a day and to carry a mobile phone at all times during normal hours of business. It would of course be turned off at night – a body has to rest!
• No- holiday contracts tailored to workaholics.

Oh fine, so those are a little on the extreme side, but I challenge you not to admit to having questioned why the ability to access decision makers seems to vanish during the summer. It cannot be healthy for commerce as a whole to have such a restricted and centralised degree of control.

With so much potentially to lose, both in terms of new customers as well as managing the relationships with existing ones, surely we should make the most considered and thoughtful steps towards changing this present pathetic state-of-affairs. Proper delegation, with an investment in your more experienced staff’s skills could bridge some of the gap so that these hair- tearing situations do not damage your customer’s confidence in our ability to deliver quality service.

After all, with global warming we will be seeing more sunny days to tempt those cheeky decision makers away and we could end up with nobody even answering the phone!

Won’t you please, please help me…….. Pass the sunscreen , red wine and goodnight Vienna!